the time I met adam silvera

I’ve been staning in line for I don’t know how long, thinking about what to say when I finally get to meet Adam Silvera. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it longer than that. On my way to the book fair, and the day before, and on the train to Copenhagen. How do I tell someone how important he and his books are to me? “I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but -” No, that wouldn’t work. “Your books are so important to me, they really -” Maybe I could say that. I’m sure he’s heard it endless of times though. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything, just pretend like his books and their meaning doesn’t really affect me at all. But that doesn’t seem right. There’s this part in They Both Die at the End that really spoke to me. I want to tell him about it, but no matter how much I turn it over in my head, I can’t figure out how to explain to him just how much it meant to me. After forever but not nearly long enough, I’m suddenly first in line, still with only fractions of sentences planned. My heart is beating quicker than usual and my hands are shaking. It’s been that way all day.

Adam Silvera is standing right in front of me, asking about my name. I tell him it’s Tilda and take a deep breath, or as deep as I manage, nervous as I am, and try to explain how this one scene impacted me, how happy I felt reading it and how much I related to Rufus’ character. How important his loved ones acceptance was. I stumble over my words and it takes a while before I get it right, but I finally get my point across. “And they accepted him, and that just gave me hope that my friends will as well,” I say, or something like that. It’s hard to remember. What he says on the other hand, I don’t think I’ll ever forget. He tells me how the people who accepted him when he was younger are still in his life today, how my friends today are supposed to last a lifetime, so they have to accept who I love. Sure, some of this I’ve read and heard before, someone I don’t know telling someone else I don’t know, but Adam says all of it to me. I actually get to hear someone who has been in a similar position addressing me. When he wishes me all the best, it means more than anyone else’s assuring words have ever meant, because I know that he is talking from experience. I know he understands the way I’m struggling. I also know how I’ll be absolutely fine, because suddenly I feel like I’m maybe not so alone after all.
I’ve always known I’m not the first queer person to walk the earth, of course, but to for the first time meet someone else, and get to listen to him telling me about his experiences, is more important than I could ever put down in words. It’s the most relieving feeling ever.

Once I’ve left the signing table, I cry floods. It’s not bad tears though. It’s the kind of tears that you shed once you’ve been relieved from something heavy, the ones that comes from sheer exhaustion.received_1627104150703269-01.jpeg



Diversity Spotlight Thursday #3

It’s been too long since I did one of these and I almost missed it today too, but in my defense I’ve been reading a lot. Like A LOT. We’re currently in the end of day 4 in BookTubeAThon and I’m halfway through my fifth book. And I’ve worked every day this week. So, there’s not much time for anything but reading and sleeping. Anyway, before I go back to doing just that, here’s some diverse books.

Diversity Spotlight Thursday is a weekly meme hosted by Aimal @ Bookshelves & Paperbacksyou can find the original post and the rules here. What you have to do is write about:

  1. A diverse book you have read and enjoyed
  2. A diverse book that has already been released but you have not read.
  3. A diverse book that has not yet been released.

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Diversity Spotlight Thursday #2 | girls who likes girls

Diversity Spotlight Thursday is a weekly meme hosted by Aimal @ Bookshelves & Paperbacks you can find the original post and the rules here. What you have to do is basically just answer the 3 questions below. Today I’m doing the Diversity Spotlight with focus on girls who likes girls. (Also, I’m very aware this is a day late, but in my defense I wrote it last night, I just didn’t have the opportunity to post until now.) Anyhow, let’s get into it!

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As you may know, June is pride month. To celebrate, and to try bringing some more awareness into the bookish community I’ve decided to make it “a thing”. For the month of June I’ll only be reading book with LGBTQIA+ characters and/or by authors in the community.  I’ll be tracking my progress and give new recommendations as the month go in the tag #pridemonthbooks at Instagram and probably on Twitter and Tumblr, and I’m encouraging you to do the same. There are so, so many wonderful books about and by LGBTQIA+ people, so I promise you, it won’t be hard. Even if you choose to read only one that’s good too. Make sure to use the hashtag, I want to see what you’re reading and I’ll be doing shout-outs in my Instagram story the whole month.

Not sure where to start? I’ve got you. Down below is a list of books that I’ve read and loved. At the end of this post I’ll also link to other readers who’ve decided to join me and their LGBTQIA+ recommendations.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo (trans mc, own voices.) Such a good book and a really quick read!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz (gay mc, own voices) One of my all time favorite books, cannot recommend it enough!!

Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde (bisexual mc, own voices) This book was adorable! Had me smiling from beginning to the last sentence. Also a very quick and fast paced read, full with geekyness.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo (gay and bisexual mc) If you’ve been following my bookstagram, you probably know that this is one of my all time favorites. You’ve probably already read it but if you haven’t, DO IT NOW!

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (gay mc) “Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn’t be this big awkward thing whether you’re straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I’m just saying.” (Important: This book has a character being outed against their will. Please remember that this is in no way okay and should be taken seriously. Read with caution!)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (bisexual mc (?)) This is just a thoroughly enjoyable and funny fantasy novel. Some say it’s to similar to Harry Potter, which I get, but it’s good anyway. HP but gay, what more could you ask for?

You Know Me Well by Nina LaCour and David Levithan (gay and lesbian mc, own voices) Perfect for pride month!!

 I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson (gay mc) My favorite book of all time. Must read! (Important: Same applies as with Simon vs.)

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E Schwab (bisexual author*) One of my favorites this year!

And now onto what I want to read! (I’m totally not going to be able to read all of these, but a girl can dream, right?) I also won’t put the labels on these because I don’t know them yet, but I know they feature LGBTQIA+ characters.

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova

How To Make A Wish by Ashley Herring Blake

Release by Patrick Ness

The Love Interest by Cale Dietrich

History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

When The Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

Golden Boy by Abigail Tarttelin

Everything Leads To You by Nina LaCour

Recommendations from other readers:

  • Linn (midnightclockwork on Instagram) wrote a lovely list with loads of recommendations which you can find here.

Let me know if you decide to write a recommendations list for #pridemonthbooks and I’ll link to your post here! (It can be Instagram, blog, Tumblr etc)

That’s it! See anything you like? Let me know in the comments! Also, make sure to tell me if you participate, and if you could let others know about the this as well, that would be brilliant. See you in #pridemonthreaders with lots and lots of queer books. Happy pride!!

* The ADSOM series features a bisexual and a gay mc, although this is only confirmed in book two (I believe), which is why I only put the author’s sexuality above. It also features a gender fluid main character, although it’s not confirmed. You can read author V.E Schwab’s tweet about it here